My Colleague is Saboteur

My company has recently undergone a merger.
In the midst of all the reorganization and layoffs, I have noticed that a colleague of mine has become "trigger happy" when small things go wrong on my project. I am concerned that this person is trying to sabotage me in front of others by pointing out my weaknesses. My first instinct is to ignore it, but it's starting to affect how others perceive my work.

She acts like my friend, but am I being sabotaged?
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Dear "Sabotaged",

You are not alone. According to research conducted by Judith Briles, who explored workplace sabotage among professional women, two thirds of the 30,000 to 50,000 surveyed had reported to be "discredited" by another woman.

When a boss or colleague attempts to sabotage your career, or you feel you're being sabotaged, you're in the hard spot. Complain, and you're no longer considered a team player or become accused of imagining the situation. Do nothing, and risk ruining your career.

Saboteurs are most likely to attack in a weak job market says Wendy A. Rothman, president of Wenroth Group, a consortium of business psychologists in New York. "When the market is bad, there is real insecurity because there are fewer jobs and more people competing for them," she says. "You have a pretty good recipe for potential backstabbing."

Start by keeping your cool. Showing a temper will erode your professionalism.

Don't confront the saboteur. First, carefully consider the unpleasant possibility that your perceptions of the individual are wrong. List all events that led you to suspect sabotage. Does a colleague blame you for something you didn't do, steals credit for your work, conducts meetings in your area of expertise without including you; fails to pass on messages, shares private information about you, and finally, discredits your personality in public. If you answered yes to one of these questions your suspicion maybe right. If you're still uncertain, consult with a trusted colleague or mentor.

Now that you've confirmed and identified the extent of the problem, discuss your observations with your boss in private. After all, your boss' opinion of you is the one that really matters and can positively [or negatively] affect your career advancement.

If your boss accuses you of imagining the situation, confronting the offending co-worker maybe the next step. Many of us feel uncomfortable when it comes to confrontation. Don't feel bad. Remember, those who engage into this negative job behavior are always the least confident, secure people. They are bullies who attack those who will allow it. Once you remove yourself from their list, your destructive co-worker will likely move on to another victim.

Finally, before confronting your saboteur prepare yourself. Be sure to be able to state the issue in two non-emotional, factual based sentences. And, do it in the open at the precise moment when the sabotage is occurring or when you being made aware of it. In person, on the spot. Sounds scary? Of course. However, your failure to address this toxic behavior and confront your saboteur early on is likely to make your predicament only worse.

Common Signs of Office Sabotage

Here are the warning signs to watch out for:
1. If your manager starts to question you more often on things about your work performance or private life that he would normally not know.
2. If someone is forgetting to notify you about a meeting
3. If a co-worker gets you to agree with an inflammatory opinion then makes it look like it was your idea.
4. If someone digs into your personal life and speculates about it in the office.